after reading a few posts and blogs... I am LUCKY. Sigh, then why the depression?
It's got to do with school adminstrative stuffs rather then teaching.
This week has been really horrible. I can't seem to do anything right.
Oya, have I complained how much I hate the state I am in? Nvm if I have. i shall continue to complain. Virgos have the right to be naggy. As everyone knows, I am only a temporary permanent staff in the school (see the irony? it's like saying original copy)I'm not paid much attention. That's fine with my original character. Nobody knows where to put me. Cos i'm officially a permanent staff but i'm only there for a short while. Fine, so now I'm a STUFF rather den STAFF. I'm jus something where there's space n i'll be placed there. Cool. I can tahan that. (I think)
But what I really dun like is basically myself. I cant seem to put effort into whatever I do. Cos hard work wont pay off right now. I cant seem to find help whenever I need. Cos all the staffs just ask me am i the new teacher or the practicum teacher. It's like they need to know it before they decide to help me? or decide what kind of help I need? Hey. I'm not ungrateful. There are teachers who really help me. But it gets kinda tiring when I haf to keep saying the same thing over and over again.
I FEEL OUT OF PLACE.
cos i'm the only one of my kind in the school.
i've caused a lot of unnecessary troubles.
feeling depressed now.
i cant wait to go back to NIE.
Why?
ANSWER: Cos i am a better student than a teacher. i prefer studying to teaching.
