There'll be so many people and kids tt I'll miss sorely. Like all the nice teachers and admin staffs that have helped me a lot. My 2 CTs who have given me lots and lots of support and helped me through my down days. Rainy days that were horrible and made me lose self-confidence are now just memories, experiences and lessons that I will remember. Thank you very much.
I'll miss the bubbly sec 1 class who never fails to make me laugh, even on the days when I thought I have lost all sense of humor. I'll miss the sec 3 class which has strengthened me and opened up my schema of experience and teaching techniques. I'll definitely miss my cute-sleeping-boy who comes from Planet Tsk. And the quiet girl who has opened up to me and fill me in with info on the class. They made me look forward to teaching the class even on the days that I dun wan to.
Thank goodness, I've matured and grown a little more over the 5 weeks. Thank you for the experience.
And oh ya.. if there's any habit that I've picked up over these 5 weeks, it's definitely the glass door syndrome. Whenever I see the glass door closing, I'll rush over and open it before it closes. And it's the convenience store glass door. I felt stupid after that. Cos, hey! Hello, I dun haf to punch in numbers or clean my thumb to open the door at all. Well. One thing's for sure. That habit will die down in like 3 days time =)
Next time, if u see a person rushing over to the glass door before it closes, yup, that person might be working in a gov office.
PS: No sarcasm present at all. I swear!!! PPS: Shoot! I forgot to take photos with them. Nah.. Never mind.. I haf their class photos to remind me their faces. Hahahaha PPPS: Yeah! Let the real holiday begin!!!!
Friday, July 31, 2009
(names have been altered for confidential and idiocy reasons)
Day: Monday, 27 July 2009 Venue: S**** Room Circumstances: Just talking crap when one of the admin lady walked past us, looking for a teacher.
X: U noe, I love seeing Aunty Nura. It's so good talking to her. She's so bright and cherry all the time. There's no one time that I dun see her without a bright smile hanging on her face. She's so nice (etc etc, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... She's was using all the adjectives that she noes to describe Aunty Nura. Show-off. But! She got her retribution for doing that!) Me: Having an image of cherry in my head.
Me (again) : Huh? Cherry? U mean cheery ba....?
X: (Shuts up immediately)
Me: (thinking, wa! that was quick and effective, better den panadol sia...)
And everyone started laughing like lunatics.
And once again, the day is saved. Thanks to..... The incredibly witty Funny Seah. Yup, tt's me! Thank you thank you! Awww... Shucks... No need for the compliments....
Monday, July 27, 2009
A radar image of the surface of Venus, centered at 180 degrees east longitude. This composite image was created from mapping by the Magellan probe, supplemented by data gathered by the Pioneer orbiter, with simulated hues based on color images recorded by Venera 13 and 14. No probe has been able to survive more than a few hours on Venus's surface because it is completely obscured by clouds, the atmospheric pressure is some 90 times that of the Earth's, and its surface temperature is around 450 °C
Wow.. Looks like Venus it's not as romantic nor loving as we think. I dun think any Venus Goddess or human can stay on it at all. And Definitely not Sailor Venus. It's so boring and it's too hot. No wonder she abandoned it and came to Earth with the other Sailor Planets and Sailor Moon. Earth is so much more lovable, though, not without its faults.
But still, it's quite a nice picture to stare upon.
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Ending day is not on Wednesday.
So, it's either a good weekend, or a horrible one.
Ergh! Why do I have to prolong my suffering? Why? WHY? FOR HER??!!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Something's wrong with me
Suddenly, I've lost all my confidence in teaching. My lessons are no longer engaging. I .. I've lost my words... I ... I don't know what to say at all. My mind goes blank in the class. I am not being myself. I dun crack jokes.
And the worst thing is
I start to carry out my teaching in the lesson plans. I am oblivious to everything else.
There's something seriously wrong with me.
My questioning techniques suck. Big Time. People start to worry about me.
Hello, you dun haf to worry about me. I'm doing a lot of that already.
Then I realised ... I really need help.
My pride totally rejects this notion. I so do not need help, it screams. But for one of these rare times, I ignore its unreasonable thinking.
I am going to accept help humbly. Gain back my confidence as a teacher. And learn to teach all over again. Starting with observations.
My Judgment Day is on Wednesday. 22 July 2009.
Thou shalt not hear from thy til then .. .. ..
I'll post my results out. Whatever it may be .. ..
PS: But I'll still update on my twitter la .. Sorry, I'm addicted to tt at the moment. So, cant really live without updating it once in a while. (Like 2-3 hours la)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Story of the day
I should stop dropping tears for now.
After tonight,I'll stop these shameful tears. Yeah. I should have more faith in myself. There are so many people who will help me. (Nope, not tt woman)
Seah Yi Fan
You Can Do It!!!
PS: I cried not because of the class. I did not cry because I failed. I cried because I cant stand the horrible harsh bitter words that THAT old woman used. Who does she think she is anyways? See the world through her beady eyes? Fako....
PPS: Thanks to all those who consoled me. Though I may or may not have talked to you before.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
If you had to describe me with only a word, what would it be?
I now proclaim this piece of sky as "My Sky"
Dunno wat to write. Wanted to share some stories.. Den ... I feel that it's really lame.
I get any lamer, I can use a crutch to school
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Today, started out really really bad. I slept at 1.11am I officially lose consciousness like after 1.30am. And I woke up (officially) at 5.10am That's like less than 4 hours of sleep. Why did I have to wake up so early? Cos I have to reach school by 6.30am to do my duty as the health screening personal. Shucks. Of all days, when today (Friday) lesson starts at the 1st two periods of the day.
I hung on with my determination and resilience as my crutch and aid, I reached school at 6.25am.
Then, the abominable thing happened.
As I was opening the door to the GO, I opened too rashly and as a result, I hit my left big toe with the glass door. It hurt ... like the underground fiery place where demons live, and of course I hobbled all the way to my station.
Den while I was wasting my life away for that 45min, my left foot started to feel really wet and sticky. Nope, I didnt step on anything. It's my own blood. No need to do DNA comparison le. Blood flowed freely.(Whew, thank goodness I'm wearing a pair of black shoes) Sigh.
After that, I've only got like 10min before my first lesson. And since I've only completed my worksheet in the wee hours of night, of course I dun haf 30 copies ready at hand. Luckily, I had Elyse to help me. (Thank you Elyse!!!)Plus, I had to do something about my toe which by then had started to bleed profusely. (Ok, tt last bit a bit exaggerated la.. Just normal bleeding la)
So, I went to the class slightly late. (3-5min la) And I wasnt really feeling good too. Cos the class didnt went well the previous day, so, I kinda decided to be really fierce and be ready to flare up if needed. So I went in with no smiles and a very pissed look that says "I havent been getting enough sleep. Try messing around with me, and YOU . WILL . DIE ......"
But, just as I was getting ready to do so, operation "Super Cut" started. 10 students with inappropriate hair cut and color got called out of class. And among those 10, there're those that are the talkative (tt includes my "brother") ones. So, I just looked at them as they walk out of the class. I looked at the remaining ones and in my head, i was silently thanking Buddha that the good ones were spared. And then, my funny sense of humor just broke out. And I kinda sniggered I think. Herherher... And then, lesson went well... Really well. The class put in effort. They thought through the answer, slowly, but cautiously. I was kinda touched actually. And I get to go round the class, attending to everyone. I could really feel that there was learning going on.
*Sobz*Wipes tears away*
Even though the day started out like as though it's Friday the 13th. But, by 8.40am, I was smiling. From the bottom of my sleepy heart.
But, one bad thing continued la. My big toey is still throbbing with pain.
I shall hobble wobble my way around.
PS: I've got a set of fake twins in my class. They sleep at the same time, start doing work at the same moment and start talking at the same timing. Weird la .. Tsk. PPS: n one of the twins have got his head stuck to the table. Hahahahaha
Friday, July 10, 2009
Crumbling pieces .. Nope, not referring to cookies
I should have posted yesterday. Den at least I'd haf some proof that I was happy for tt day. I'd haf some evidence of positive energy residue. But now ...
I'm depressed. Am I asking too much of myself? Nope. I only had the minimal expectation possible. Yet, I failed to achieve that level.
Yesterday, I remembered that I didnt want to vanish anymore. Well, dun worry. That thinking is still there. Because
I want to overcome all the challenges infront of me.
Sweep away all the crumbling dust and ashes of despair and failure.
I'm gonna move forward -------> To success, satisfaction and ultimately, a bright smile on my kids' face.
I'm still not matured yet. But at least I am trying
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I'm a bad friend - I've missed out my bestfriend's birthday
I'm a bad daughter - I havent been contributing to the house
I'm a bad believer - I havent been keeping up my faith
I'm a bad musician - I havent been practising
I'm a bad teacher - I cant seem to make anything go right and ... not boring
I should just vanish from the surface of the earth.
PS: Ditto is like .. so .. old fashion
One day, should u not be able to contact me. That's because I've decided to run away. To eternity. To escape from responsibility. I've simply vanished like the scum of the Earth. I've wandered into wilderness, into the emptiness, of unwantedness.
Or it could be ...
I've simply died
This could be my last post. (Ha! Like real)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I'll be so broke this month. And busy too. I have to prepare 2 presents.
I wanna "The Corpse Bride" original soundtrack. Anyone knows where to get it? Except online of course.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Name is Yi Fan. 4 September
Still struggling, trying to figure out why I am breathing.
Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is youer than you.
your current hotties and coolies
i want/i need
scuba diving lessons
mechanical pencil lead
**Guitar** (Birthday gift anyone?)