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I wish I had either the brains or the looks
But I have neither
Sad life I have......
Oh wait! I think I haf the positive attitude towards life =) My mood brightens whenver I see the clear blue sky (in an air con room or bus. meaning that I dun haf to suffer in the heat
Today in philosophy class. I cant really remember every detail that happened. The quotes that have been discussed, the points that I have to rethink etc etc...
However, I remembered one thing super clearly.. And that was... that during class in the midst of a discussion (when someone was talking about something) ..... Bridget's water bottle rolled to the center of the classroom circle.
That was like the hilarious moment of the day for me =D
Another thing that popped up in my mind at this moment.
Everything can be destroyed. Including philosophical theories, beliefs, assumptions and thinking.
Hold on to the faith in what u believe, fill up the holes and weaknesses with new ideas, and maybe, what you have constructed in your heart might be saved and still stand rooted. Even when great disasters come, in the worse case scenario, something might be left.....
Right now... Most of the things that I believe are ..... blown away. I realised that I have to safeguard and defend what little is left of me. But that's not enough. I have to keep adding, building new ideas and beliefs to help these things.... What are the things? No idea... It's too abstract to write it down in language.
I guess that's what they call "re-inventing" yourself?
Everything .... really can be destroyed... Or as you might prefer ....
Everything changes. Nothing is permanent forever. Only change is....
Friday, January 29, 2010
On education and I quote:
Descartes was right in his observation that book learning is not the sum of education. Education is much more than this.
THIS ---> refers to the stupid 5 chapters (That's close to 90 pages for you) that I'm reading now. Not that I am against reading. Reading is good. They expand the knowledge of one's mind through use of language on paper. Once, it would be difficult to get mass info. We might have to travel to different regions to listen to lecture on that topic. (That's about 3-4 centuries ago) And here I quote again
Reading is a sort of food. It is basis for our thinking and action. The books and essays we read and the repertoire we study are part of the traditions from which we draw nourishment and sustenance. We need to take in ideas and hear others speak and write just as we need to study the important repertoire in our fields of musical practice. For this reason, attending conferences, classes, seminars, and lessons, reading books and articles, searching the Internet, and watching and listening to mass media are all important means of gathering information.
BIG POINT NOTE: We also acquire knowledte in the classroom, studio, rehearsal space, or concert hall as we participate in musical and educational activities.
Get it??? During this bloody course, all we ever do is read books and books (not chapters hor.. Is books!!!), talk and talk, going round in circles squares triangles and back to circle again. Hey! My butt is getting squashed and bigger from all the sitting lez. Why arent there ACTIVITIES to allow application of whatever we haf read? Why are there so many chapters and books to read every week?
Education is sooooooo much more than this stupid shit!
I want movement!
I want discussions that stimulate my thinking. I dun wan to talk about what I have read for that entire 3 hours.
Give me something that allows me to apply what I have learnt. Arent there many ways to touch on philosophies? Why does it haf to be sitting in a circle and let the air con blow me till I freeze in my +___+'' mode?
This philosophy course is USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Education is so much more than this (book learning) !!!!!!!
PS: I can go on and on.. And with the analysis skills that I've learnt lately, I can go more in-depth. But I'm too tired. I'll edit some more when I have more powerful ideas. No promises though.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I just wish... Daytime was longer. I kinda freak out whenever I see the sky darkens and turns to night. It's like telling me the day is almost over. Day is gone and I've wasted another day. Darn.. I hate being old.
I see these 17-18 years old teens and I'm like thinking, wow.. They're super young! Youth is spurting out through their breathing pores. I was of that age once. But... Do I want to go back to that time? Sigh... Kinda.. Half-half I guess. Half me wanting to have so much energy, enthusiasm and courage to try and face new challenges. My heart feels ... old =(
On a happier thought. I feel that I'm getting smarter these days. All thanks to the readings that I'm forced to do. Hahahaha.... And speaking of challenges, I've forced myself to take up the analysis course. I'm super weak at analysing texts and analysing in general. Sooooo, I hope to overcome this fear, deepen my thoughts, widen my views on different topics and just become a more thoughtful person in general. Gone were the days when I speak out superficial thoughts. I'm going to be a more 'deep' person.
(Hahahahahaha.. I cant help but laugh at the last sentence. Me, a deeper person? Hahahaha)
我想要长大。做一个有担当，负责任的大人。 Be more thoughtful, considerate to other people. And oh! Be less selfish =)
Well, I actually intended to write an immensely and intensively long post. But... I lost thought. Hmmmmmm
Just saw Singapore's temperature on an overseas news station news. 22-30Degrees Celsius. Isnt the temperature difference a bit too much? And..... 22Degrees in Singapore? HA!!!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
I feel helpless. And aimless
I'm like running around without using my brain. Bumping into here, hitting into lamp posts blindly.
My heart is still not settled. My determination is not strengthened. I'm still procrastinating.
My brain is empty. I'm not thinking.
I need motivation.
Monday, January 18, 2010
It's only the first week of school and I'm already behind so many readings...
This is not good.
I need to devise a better and efficient way to study
I so love Arashi's Special TV movie! Ok, I just love them.. Kekekeke ^0^ It's quite a rare occasion that I see them in the same drama or movie =)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Although it's only Monday, I'm already looking forward to having Friday come as soon as possible so that I may settle my stupid timetable in the fastest time.
Crashed in the class with Tiffany. Wa... The course is...... Super scary. But still, I'll try my luck on Friday and see if I can get in. My hunch is that, I wont. Oh wells. Suddenly, AAE232 seems so much better......................
Of all the unsettling news and emotions, things are pretty cool and steady today. I've even heard 2 great news today ^o^
1. Sally is getting married next Sat! yeah! Congrats girl!
2. Nodame Cantabile the movie is showing in Singapore in March and June! YES!!!! It took Gokusen the Movie 4months plus to reach Singapore. But it only took Nodame Cantabile 3! Kekekekeke.. I so cant wait for it!!!! >0< It will be like a relief from the stress that I'd feel during March mafan month.
Adios... I feel so sleepy now.... =_=''
I miss fangirling days already
Monday, January 11, 2010
Stupid time table
I hate you!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I hate u stupid blood sucker. I SWEAR! One day, I'll kill you, smash you and then.... I will wash you down the drain. Your days of sucking my blood for pleasure is limited. Count your moments and pray to your blood sucking deity. But you wont need that. You will die a horrible death anyway
Today, I thought I had you when I saw you right on my arm. But I didn't. What a shame. It was soooooooo close. You flew pretty fast. That's ok. I'll get my chance soon.
I repeat: I will get you!
Fortunately, you didn't manage to have things done your way. The damage was minimised. Thank goodness....
On a happier note. I soooooo super love this girl's vocal.
She's only 16 this year. Hahaha. I always feel inspired to practice my very lousy guitar skills by this super amazing voice. But... The guitar playing doesn't get any better.
Hahaha. I love it how the nicknamed "Hawk-Eye" host looked at her every time she appears on the show. I'm so telling you.. He's so falling for her. Hahahaha
Wished I had that kind of musical sense and abilities at 16. Well.. Even at the present age of (unknown), I still lose out to her in some ways. For one, I always gan chiong when I make a mistake during performance and I still have the fear and super anxiety when performing solo in front of a whole hall of crowd. Hey! I cant even perform in front of 3 people, let alone in a concert?? Haiz.. That's why I'm in teaching and not performing I guess.
That's why I admire her. She can play an instrument and perform in front of at least 100 people. Even if she slipped and made a few mistakes, she can cover and go on smoothly and continue to sound great without stopping.
Haiz... Old le la...
Very old le.....
What's the point of practicing
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Name is Yi Fan. 4 September
Still struggling, trying to figure out why I am breathing.
Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is youer than you.
your current hotties and coolies
i want/i need
scuba diving lessons
mechanical pencil lead
**Guitar** (Birthday gift anyone?)