Packing up my room. I saw a stack of old number scores. It belonged to my Secondary School Orchestra era.

I flipped open the thick file. There were a huge stack of un-categorized files that I just stuffed in out of convenience sake. I put them to my right. A photo of the CO group dropped out.

I looked at the very first song that we practiced. "狮王争霸" - Theme song from the Wang Feihong series. Hahaha.. 9 years ago, it was already easy-bitsy to me. Well, it still is now. The song brought back so much nostalgic memories.

I looked at the photo and I instantly remembered how excited I was when the entire orchestra crammed into the tiny music room and set up our seats and instruments. (especially the time taken when I have to tune everyone's instrument. Kekeke) I remembered how my blood gushed to my head and my heart was beating in sync with the song's tempo when the conductor started conducting that song. I remembered how I shivered and my goosebumps appeared while I was playing this very simple song.

I remembered how much I loved playing with my string gangs during the CO days.

I remembered how I have always looked forward to the Combined practices and listening to every section coming in together blending with the music. Even though it was just the huang fei hong song that we quickly got sick of. (Ha!)

I miss those feelings.

I miss my heart beating when I'm in the ensemble. Any ensemble.

Even when the sectionals were difficult and our conductor sometimes gets frustrated, we still manage to pull it through somehow.

In NAFA, when a particle section of the song particular irks me, I'll practice like mad to prove that I can do it, that hot-blood part of me is gone.

Where is the 'determined' part of me who never gives up at the sight of any obstacles?

I miss playing erhu in an ensemble, I think.
I miss creating music with people who loves music too.
Suddenly, I don't feel so musical after all.

It's the same for choir I guess.
I recalled how stupid I felt when I saw this difficult piece that I had to sing for the very first semester. Thinking back, I cant believe I made it through sia.. I couldnt even really get the notes on those staves correctly. Hahaha, but still .... I could sing them .Woah .. . .. ...
Those moments and times when we get excited for the concert and giving our very most and best during the performances.

Ah.. those nostalgic days.

Nowadays, it's kinda like a routine call to sing in the ensemble. It's a 'sianz' feeling. Tired too..

Now, as I looked at the photo, I'm thinking.. Maybe I dun hate my teenage years so much after all. Puberty doesnt feel as bad now.

BUT

I still wouldnt want to experience that one more time.

HA!

PS: Let's 加油 for the ensembles ba! It's music making sessions after all... =)
PPS: I hate packing up. Things never seem to fit anywhere!

When will it rain?

Video checking routine as usual. Today, many ppl were commenting on last night's episode of 康熙来了. Hmm, ok let's go see what's the fuss about. N after watching tt episode....

Love IS complicated after all. It's not easy for someone to meet someone and these two someone-s can be together.

Fate is when someone gets to meet someone. (Difficulty level: 1/5)
Fate is when these 2 someone-s get to interact with each other. (Difficulty level: 2.5/5)
Fate is when they like each other. (Difficulty level: 4.4/5)
Fate is when they can be together. (Difficulty level: 5/5)
Fate is when they go on about their lives without each other. (Difficulty level: 0/5)
Fate is when their feelings still linger around the same someone. (Difficulty level: 1.5/5)

It's no longer the basic feeling of "If I like you and you like me too, let's be together" anymore.

Sigh...

Feelings are so complex. But we cant live without it.

I think I'm happier as a single person.

PS: Hmmmmm ... ... ...
PPS: Meeting/seeing ppl is easy. To interact and like the person is not. Tt's why I set the difficulty level in that way. Anyways.. Just one of my day-dreaming opinion.
PPPS: If you're already with someone. Hold tight to his/her hands. Dont let it go. Treasure him/her.
PPPPS: It's so tiring to be politically right all the time. Haiz...

I kinda surprised myself. Despite sleeping at 2.22am.. I still managed to wake up at 520am and say goodbye to my mom who had to reach airport at 6am. Because her flight is at 8am. Crazy huh..

Hahaha.. She left a very wet kiss on my cheeks before she went off..

Well.. She should be sleeping by now. But my Dad disagrees with me. Cos her happiest place is in Taisekiji. So.... She should be so excited that she cant sleep. LoL.. Whatever...

I just hope that the weather's good and she can come back safely on Monday.

*Muacks*

I'm in pain. Again. Haiz. It's so damn painful that I have to resort to doing my essays on my bed.

Oh no!

Am I bed-ridden?

Ah!!!!

Hahaha

Of course not.

The world really moves in a circular mode. First, I had been absorbed in Kpop songs. Den, it was MayDay. But really recently, I'm back to Jay Chou songs which I havent really heard in like.. what..ages? Yup. Hahaha. So now, I'm back into the Jay Chou ballads mode. Wonder what's next.

Alright. Back to chioning essays.. >x<

If you think the remaining last 3 months of the year starting with October will turn out good...

Think again.

AMX lesson. Went through our essay outline. But apparently, there's this smart aleck who has finished the entire essay already. Together with photos, captions, references, etc... Wa la... I was like.. =_=

Almost died.

I was having a cold and a mild fever. Weird la. My body is having this high temperature but I'm feeling cold instead. My mom gave me this 'unidentified' pill for my cold. In the end, my fever shot up.

Well, no biggie. Broke out into sweats. Feel better now.

Lesson learnt: Never ever take unidentified pills

I slept too much. Literally.
So now, my head's aching like mad.

There's been so many big things that have been happening around me lately. Everything from the hurricanes to the earthquakes and other kinds of natural disasters. But oso internally. Like my home.

Yet, I've felt nothing yet.

I think I'm literally emotionless... And imaginary heartless.

One day, when the buildings come crushing down and it's literally the end of the world. Who would be at your side, holding your hands?
Who would you wish to be at your side?

As I was watching tt trailer, I kinda surprised myself with this thinking... I've got no one that I'd rather be with.

My Family? Hmmm.. Nope. Not really.
My friends? I'm sure they'll rather be with their own 'somebody'...

Physically, mentally and emotionally, I've got nobody actually.
I'm really kinda lonely.

And especially on this festive day where it's all 月圆人团圆 atmosphere.

So ... What to do? Simple
Just wish that the end of the world never reaches before I die.

Problem solved. For the moment.


PS: Not really relevant. But erm.. Hahaha.. Was reading one of my friend's blog and I was kinda amused. She seems to be so .... girly? nah.. scratch that. More feminine. So different when I met her 5 years ago. I was kinda smiling and THIS close to laughing when I read her blog. Just ... like that ba.

A very simple title tt describes all.

Today is 2nd October 2009. But I'm writing the events that happened the day before. Why? Cos I feel that it is much safer to do so. Who noes, the more u write on that 'eventful' day, the more bad things will come your way. Right?

Yesterday was horrible.

1. I overslept.
2. The train trips were so.... ARGH!

You know, I dun mind the journey or the traveling. But hor...Yesterday was just plain terrible. I had to wait 6 minutes TWICE for trains. Den, when I was on the bus. It stopped at EVERY traffic light. Hello! EVERY ONE OF THEM! N I was wondering. A journey tt normally takes about 5 min actually took 10 plus minutes to reach my destination. Hence, I was late. ARGH!

Ok, so tt was the 'going to' part. Normally, from my experiences, if my 'going to' journey is horrible, the 'coming back' would be good. Well, you know, the law of compensation.

BUT NO!

It was equally horrible.

The bus stopped at EVERY traffic light again.

Den, on my way to the second destination. Haiz.. Equally bad. But the worst has yet to come. Alright, it did come. My erhu teacher had actually sent a msg long long time b4 the lesson to tell me not to come cos she had a performance. But she sent it to the wrong person. So in the end.. Yeap. Went to her house for nothing. Haiz.

And I had to endure a nasty dinner after that.

Why? Why? WHY???

horrible day sia...

But still.. Not as horrible as the earthquakes that had been happening around.

I must learn to live and endure.

Right after my breakfast