This is probably one of those few days when I feel like writing my will, walk around aimlessly, find a good spot and just jump down from a very high building..... Bungee jumping la. U think what? *Evil laugh*

I'm depressed. Not the depression-way like. Just unhappy.

I've been thinking.....

Let's say one day I was walking around and some stupid don't-know-how-to-drive-car driver hit me and I end up in a hospital. During the operation, some unknown figure takes my soul out and we have a little chat. We talk about the things I've done, the good decisions, best memories, regrets, mistakes and if I'm satisfied to leave the world just as it is.

I'd paused for a while and depending on the state of mind and mood I am in I might say yes. But if that happens before I watch the last two Harry Potter movies and before I finish Monk, Criminal Minds and Glee then the answer is definitely NO!!!

The mysterious figure noticed my hesitation and asked, "If I give you a chance to live your life again. Would you do it?" "Really? Hang on.... That sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?" The genderless figure smiled slightly. That would totally give the chills. What a creep. And I was right!

"You will relive with the memories that you possess right now."

Then I see the catch.

See.... If I reset and live my life totally from scratch with the existing memories, this means that I would have the memories to know what to change or what not to change. But this also means that I have to go through some of the toughest times that I've sworn I'd never ever want to go through again. First one, teenage years.

I am a super impatient person. I only wait if I can see the goal. I can endure the hardships for that long, depending if what lies on my destination point is worth.

I am 23 years old. Going through another 23 years of waiting, studying, hardships, just to see if the changes I've made works for the better?

Is it worth it?

7 years of primary school might sound fun. Except for the year when there's PSLE.
But what about secondary school? The days of cramming information into my tiny brain, the exams, hormonal changes, crushes that only crushed me... It's not like the movie "Click" where I can have the luxury of the super remote control that allows me to fast forward these phases. I have to sit through every second of this second life.

Seriously... Is it worth it?

Or my second option is just to say no and live through the mistakes I've made and hope that by the end of my life, it makes sense somehow.

See the dilemma there? Sometimes I feel that I've made mistakes that cause me to end up the way I am. I hate it. Honestly, the 'reset' option would be so tempting for me. But the thought of living through a second life with my existing memory hurts too. And what if! What if the changes that I get to change end up all disastrous and I'm left with the same situation or worse than before? Would I be able to bear with such endings without any complaints or regrets? I highly doubt that.

I'm stuck at this. Anyone care to help? What would you choose? To continue where your heart stopped? Die? Or hit that 'reset' button?